When you work with people – they fall into a category.

They are either:

• Apprentice 50/50
• Opportunist Steal the pie
• Associate Teamwork
• Rebel/Maverick Wrong time/wrong place
• Other Who knows?

The Apprentice is a healthy 50/50 relationship. You learn form them and they learn from you. A lot gets accomplished and all prosper. Even the people in the environment not connected to the project benefit from the positive energy created by the accomplishment.

This relationship builds with healthy growth and the fruit is sweet when mature.

Mutual stimulation and friendly competition ensures learning, growth and fun.

The Opportunist is a different story. Here is someone looking to take advantage. They want to steal the pie off the window sill, run away and eat it. Then come back and look for another pie.

This is your out-of-balance narcissist. They are not interested in anything but their own selfish greed. They do not change until they hit rock bottom. It takes a lot for them to change. Some people call it a miracle.

You naturally want to help, but it is a waste of time. They are a one-way street called Gimme.

Best to distance yourself as much as possible. If you are forced by circumstances to have to deal with this type, you must set and maintain a strong buffer and solid boundaries. They are looking for low hanging fruit. All you can do is deflect his/her greed to another easier target. And let them learn their lesson.

The Associate is a good teammate. It is a relaxed energy of equals; like a good team of work horses all pulling in the same direction. It makes the task flow easy to completion. You just get along.

An Associate relationship comes from clear planning, established boundaries and mutual respect. Each does not have the same qualities, but they complement each other and complete the task in minimal time.

Both profit from the relationship and are willing to do business in the future. An Associate is a good friend.

Then there’s the Rebel/Maverick. These, like the Opportunist are trouble. But unlike the Opportunist, who wants to eat the pie, the Rebel wants to destroy the pie, so no one can eat it. The Maverick, untamed, just wants to create havoc and loves confusion.

Sometimes these are not recognized until it is to late. Then you’re in for a big clean-up; which may be ongoing if they return. As some friends do.

No matter what boundaries you set, they always find a way to break the fence and trample the garden. Often times, they feign helpfulness or helplessness; then at the critical time they do their thing.

If your policy is to live and let live, your options are constant surveillance – which only postpones their act. Or be prepared to do a lot of clean-up until they decide to move on.

These people crave attention. They got is as a child by throwing tantrums. They get it as an adult by being a fucker-upper. The less attention you give them the more chance they look for it somewhere else.

Clearly Apprentices and Associates are the ones to work with. Check with guidance for everyone in your circle of people which category they are in. If it is not one of these 4/5 then it is one Other.

And that would be another story.

to be continued…